It's almost been six months since my last post. A lot happens in six months! I worked at a call centre from February until April. Then I worked at another bank from the end of April until the end of June. The feeling of restless that I felt in January has followed me over the past six months. I have questioned what my next step is. I thought I would go back into banking and just let the whole school thing slide. However, emotionally banking is a terrible fit. I need to find something that highlights my emotional nature, not denotes it.

Also, one of the most exciting things that has happened is that I got engaged! Our wedding is not until summer 2017 but I have had so much fun planning already. With all the uproar going on in my life, the whole process was not as romantic as I had imagined from seeing people get engaged in the movies. However, it was real and true of who Wayne and I are as people. I'm actually very happy with that. It makes sense that not every single moment of you being engaged is going to be enthralling. I have even felt nervous and doubtful of my decision. I'm saying this because I want others in similar situations to know it's normal. There really are no guarantees in life. I love Wayne with all my heart and I know it is mutual. I'm okay with letting myself feel an array of emotions with my engagement. It lets me know I am human and I am alive.

Lately, I have felt a bit of a pull toward becoming a spiritually healer. I can't quite explain it. I've been researching tons of healers and life coaches and watching them is so enthralling. I'm not sure what exactly I would like to do or even if I want to do it. Right now I just want to LEARN. I have such a desire to learn more about this new age spirituality and talk about my experiences with others! I just posted on facebook about a community that I want to see come together. Might I add, I want this to be a free community. We'll see what happens next.

What comes next?

Another year has come and gone. 2014 was actually pretty amazing. I had some incredible ups and downs but overall it such a fantastic year of learning.

I feel a bit lost at the moment. It is January 2015 and I officially left my job on November 1st 2014. Although I hadn't really been working since September 2014. I decided that I wanted to leave sales and do something completely different. So I applied (and got accepted) into Power Engineering. The problem is that it doesn't start until September 2015 and I feel stunted.

It's not that money is a problem - surprisingly. I've given into the fact that I will always have debt so I feel quite fine using debt as a means to live during this transition period. The problem is instability. Not knowing what is coming next. I wanted to take a university course for fun, but I am job hunting and what if I have to suddenly work during classes? I'd have to drop the course and that would be a waste or money and possibly a W on my transcript. I also wouldn't mind volunteering somewhere, like a soup kitchen. But there is so much red tape. By the time I spent all the energy on applying, getting back ground checks, etc, I'll probably have a job. Hopefully have a job.

I'm starting to doubt myself, which I often do. We are certainly our own worst enemy. I'm getting bored and restless now that the holidays are over. There are many things I *could* do. I could organize the kitchen or sort through clothes to give away those I don't use anymore. I could do art work, or sing, or practice guitar. I just don't feel like doing anything.